The greener grass…

where is the grass that once was green …

to land on them was once my dream

every morn, a wish to go beyond the fence…

with the hope of breaking this bond and finding it thence

why was the grass beyond so lively…

was it my eyes or was it the Lilly

days passed by and all I saw was the grass beyond…

but little did I know the one that I stood on

the day came when the bond was to break…

how would I know, the grass beyond was fake

stepped did I on the grass that I stood…

was it always this tender or was I behind a hood?

never mind the hood nor the softness of the mud…

for a greener grass awaited me with a tender Lilly bud

breaking the shackles of my bond…

I landed on the grass beyond

just to know that grass was indeed greener thence…

but yet again, it was still beyond the fence…

Do we pray for the love of God….or out of fear of life?

Why do we pray? Do we pray for the love of GOD?…or do we pray out of FEAR?

The fear of facing the consequences of all the wrongs that we have committed…
The fear of death… and ironically…the fear of LIFE itself…

We pray in the morning when we get up “oh GOD bless me and my family so that this day goes smoothly without any problems”…. FEAR OF FACING THE CHALLENGES OF LIFE…IMG_0546

We do a short prayer before we start our car…..FEAR OF MEETING WITH AN ACCIDENT

We do a short prayer before eating food…praying GOD to remove all the malice associated with the food, the mode of preparation and the person who cooked it….FEAR OF FOOD POISONING – THE FEAR OF PAIN TO THE BODY

We do a short prayer before an interview for its success… LACK OF SELF CONFIDENCE?? OR FEAR OF REJECTION?

We do a short prayer before entering the cricket ground to bat… FEAR OF NOT BEING ABLE TO GIVE OUR BEST??? FEAR OF ANYTHING THAT CAN GO WRONG?

We pray for the long lives of our loved ones…the close and dear ones… FEAR OF LOSING THEM!

We go to temples and shave our head… most of the time its’ an offering made when a wish is fulfilled… FEAR OF FACING THE OPPOSITE?

We do a short prayer when we open a new business… “GOD bless me so that this new endeavor succeeds…” FEAR OF FAILURE?? Or is it just to seek HIS blessings?

Then the final prayer…”God please be with me throughout today”… FEAR OF LOSING HIM…BECAUSE HE IS OUR SAVIOR!!…WITHOUT HIM WE WILL BE IN TROUBLE RIGHT?!!!

Has Life turned GOD into a governing body that is supposed to help avoid us facing our fears??…coz if HE succeeds in this job…then our prayers are answered!!!…the prayer that unfortunately was generated NOT out of LOVE for GOD…but out of FEAR OF LIFE…

…’the brown of wisdom’…a father’s unnoticed hand…

I was a bud once…delicate and brittle…under the protection of all the green petals around me…I called that cluster of selfless protection and care-my MOM…I grew in her arms…I grew… when heavy winds blew…she protected me and took upon herself the rough fury of nature…I grew…then came the heavy rains…though I could withstand the cascade, she though weaker than the tougher me now, tried her maximum so that I can stand the tensed moments…I grew…I felt a new vigor…and then my mom said, “You have started to blossom!!!…now you are on your own…” the firm yet caressing hold of my green petals…my mom had now given way to beautiful colours and fragrance of ambition and focus…I grew…and then came a time, when I could stand the toughest storms and the cruelest winds…I grew…I thought that I was standing tall and was able to withstand everything in LIFE and spread my fragrance…the unnoticed stem

Then one day, the eyes that were always aimed at the sky…to spread my fragrance far and wide…slowly bent down and saw the most beautiful sight ever…all these while that I took to GROW…I looked up…when I looked down on what I was standing tall…I saw a firm stem of green, interspersed with the brown of wisdom…..and the wear and tear of the stormy winds and the piercing downpour…yet holding firm to the bud that I was…the bud that I am…and always will be…
then I smiled at my ignorance…for I thought I was the one bearing the fury of nature….coz today I saw…there he was…My DAD….holding firm since always…the bud that I was…the bud that I am…and the bud that I always will be…

if God is faith…then in him I trust…

 

…everyday an old beginning…
with the vast expanse of experience that I call LIVING!
a sun that tears my brow with piercing beams…
as I walk with the burden of hopes and dreams…
alone I stand as love scoffs at me ,
or is it my own reflection all that I see?
life is what but mere existence,
if I were born to succumb to its vengeance…
the winds of north chilling my spine,
wonder should I take refuge in wine?
clouds that part bringing forth no light…
ghostly streets with darkness bright…
yet another day on a track unknown,
every night that ends forlorn…faith

…everyday a new beginning!!!
with the vast expanse of experience that I call LIVING!
the morn I see with eyes so bright,
hopes and dreams, I give them flight!
love was found, not in the depth of sea…
love was then, when my reasons met thee!
life is the reason I saw thy form…
grateful I am, to the time I was born…
the winds of north chilling my spine,
humbled I am, for the morn that was mine…
clouds did part and came no light,
if for darkness would I value my sight?
yet another day on a track unknown…
with faith I wait, to start tomorrow’s journ!

every day need not be bright and new…
many nights…with just a peaceful few…
in faith I trust as the morrow is made,
for the sun that’s bright, faith’s my shade…

to SEE or not to…

Once…in the wee hours of a cool winter morning…I spotted a dew drop clinging on to the edge of a beautiful flower…I
walked by and then after a few steps…I looked back…

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the drop was no more on the petal…it had perhaps escaped the final resistance to the coercion of mother Earth’s calling to merge into oblivion…yet it was those few moments of beauty that it conferred upon the beautiful flower that remained….felt as if a subtle yet profound message was conveyed…in this short span of existence called life…its upto us…to make it beautiful or miserable…when we choose to make it beautiful…we spread the beauty to all around us…and life gifts us back all the beauty that it has to offer….and I guess, same is the case if we choose otherwise…

…ONLINE SHOPPING will never be the same AGAIN!!!

I was making an ONLINE PURCHASE..and what followed, CHANGED MY LIFE FOREVER…!!!!

I was badly in need of an EXTERNAL HARD DISK…or so it seemed to me (I have 560 GB memory still left in my laptop)…The need felt even more important when I saw an amazing offer in my mail box from an online shopping site of which I am a member!!!!!
“Wow!!! this is 900 bucks cheaper than the original price man!!!” I told to my friend….and I immediately proceeded for the purchase!!!
3200 bucks for a 1TB hard disk felt like really a GREAT DEAL to miss!!!!

I clicked on the ‘BUY’ tab on the website, and as I was typing my shipping address…my phone rang… it was from an unknown number… a phone call that I will remember every time I do any sort of shopping in my life…for that matter its a phone call that I will remember every time I remove money from my wallet…

The person on the other end wished me a good morning and said that he was calling from a trust for serving the helpless….my spontaneous reaction was “…Sorry I don’t earn…I am a student” and proceeded to cut the call…but just heard a mumble on the other end…and when I took back the phone to my ears…he said

“sir…we need just 1200 Rs for only one injection to a 12 year old girl, she suffers from Cancer and needs to take it every day to sustain her life “… (it seems that she has to take 2 injections everyday one that costs 1200 and the other 1600 after subsidy)…
Now I was staring at the web page open in front of me that read “GRAB THIS OFFER – WESTERN DIGITAL 1-TB HARD DISK JUST FOR Rs. 3200!” …20140502_055718

The questions in my head were as follows:
1. What if this is a hoax call?
2. Why me? There are so many people out there to help and I am not even earning!
3. What if this person is luring me to make some donation to a fake agency?
4. What if this is not secure and what if whole of my bank balance will drain out in some hoax transaction!!!! what will I tell to my Dad???
5. What account will I give to my dad for the money?
6. Will this organisation then ask me to share the details on social networking etc. as some publicity stunt????

OMG!!! The speed with which our mind works …but the last questionthat I asked myself brought goosebumps on my whole body…

7. What if I could be the reason for an innocent child to enjoy one more day in her life?

I looked at the screen open in front of me……opened a new tab and asked the person on phone to provide me the details about the organisation – GOOGLED it – found it to be legal – checked if the payment mode was secure – checked if the organisation is recognised by the government – all results were positive and all these took just few minutes…

…was thinking to myself…today, we the younger generation are so well equipped with internet tools, we know what is safe and what not (at least most of it), ONLINE SHOPPING and the FUN OF PAYING via DEBIT CARD seems so enthralling that every offer that we see on these sites, be it Hard Disk, Tennis Racquet, Ear Phones, Mobile Phones, Track suits, jewelry, Photo mugs as gifts etc etc and the list goes on of all the beautiful things that we can buy online at prices much lower than the road side shops…!!!!

…but never knew that my DEBIT CARD could be used to provide one more day of life to a young soul… this use of my DEBIT CARD felt more satisfying than the “PROMOTION INDUCED NEED OF PURCHASE ” that I was going to make…

To all my friends…we can do with a little lesser GB in our Hard Disks, Music feels great on a BOSE head phone…but it feels good on a Philips one too…, Mobile phones are great devices…we can avoid just the AMOLED screen feature and get the SAME phone with same specifications for 1000-1500 bucks cheaper…, Photo mugs are a great gift…but a personally made birthday card with all the paper cuttings and fun stuff (that we used to do in Hostel) makes for a much more cherished gift…

I did not write this episode here to boast about my meager philanthropist contribution….I shared this episode here…in an attempt to bring forward a thought, to all those who happen to read this…that…

‘We need not replace our needs…but we surely can give a thought to our choices…’

…maybe that choice can gift somebody one more day of LIFE…

(http://www.reliefindiatrust.org/support-a-life.php)

(http://www.giveindia.org/p-5558-feed-a-child-at-purkal-school-for-a-month.aspx)

these are just examples…you can GOOGLE up other such organisations and choose to make a difference in someone’s life… 🙂

…an extract from my diary…29-01-2014

The feeling of ultimate satiation arises from the intense urge to feel nothing at all…it was what I felt in this lone train journey from the land of  gods (Kerala) to my very own land of hopes (Mumbai)…

a train journey is something of a life in a nutshell spread across few hours of an uncomfortable journey made to look easy with the cool wind of the air conditioning system against the stinging rays of the afternoon sun and the sight of barren lands and the trees that they support…that shows the ultimate will of those plants to survive…aiming at the hope of the monsoon that might take a few more months to bless these hard willed souls…and that is, if they survive this intense climate…11 - Copy

and so is our life…a train journey…oblivious of what is happening outside, I rest on my upper berth of a comfortable A/C coach, with a fat novel in hand, that I read interspersed with the inevitable and unconscious naps…both of them complementing eachother…enjoying the occasional chats on random topics with my co-passengers, adding to the uncalled-for tea breaks…the train stops at many stations that I haven’t heard of…

sometimes saturated with the comfort and monotony of the journey, i get down at a station that to me seems to be in the middle of nowhere, somewhere amidst the Western ghats, where I doubt if at all any people live…and that’s when the unflinching rays of the merciless afternoon sun reminds me to be grateful that I am travelling in an A/C coach, reminding me to replace the monotony of the journey with gratitude…

Talking with the co-traveller across our seats I learn that Gujaratis provide best example of how to spend money, and that Malayalis have the best recipe to cook a fish, that India’s corruption will end only with the country, and that the fried food of the train Pantry should not be trusted…and then a stop arrives when the one who opined about Malayali fish, has to get down…we had joked a lot the previous evening, had clicked photos together, transferred few songs over bluetooth, and now He was leaving…we shake hands, and hug as if we knew eachother since birth…and then bidding goodbye to other co-passengers he takes leave…and just as the train moves slowly but yet with a purpose, that’s when I realise that I had not asked him his name, and …neither did he…

That’s how I guess life works…we meet people, some important in our journey and make a lasting impression till the end…while some just serve their purpose, some purpose that would remain an enigma till our last breath…but to have faith that nothing is ever happening in our lives without a purpose…without serving any purpose…either to us…or to the other person…we forget how comfortable our journey is when compared to those travelling in the second class, and that’s when God makes us get down on a random station amidst nowhere, in the peak of the afternoon sun, so that we learn to be grateful and not to whine in the self-imposed monotony of our journey…

the tea breaks are nothing but the few incentives that we treat ourselves with, to break the monotony of this journey…just like a party with friends, a long drive on the Highway at night with our favourite playlist in the background, or a silent evening playing the video of our hostel days…or a dinner out with your loved one…all are the same…

some travelled in General class…some in second class…some in 3rd A/C, some in 2nd A/C…and some in the first class….however all trusting with immense faith in the same engine driver who neither has an air conditioning system, nor a tea break, nor other co-passengers to talk, nor the luxury of resting his faith in himself and enjoy the journey…all the more he is carrying the faith and hopes of about a thousand more people depending on him to take them to their destination…

there are three more passengers who sit with me sharing their views and thoughts…we enjoy the purposeless chats that seem to be so thought provoking…and then paused with weird silence when everyone is scanning their heads for topics to break the silence….many a times we do succeed to find one…

sometimes we enjoy the topic…while sometimes we pretend to…all the same…I am sure that when these good people get down at their destination…even then…. we won’t be knowing eachother’s names…and even if we do…the excitement of reaching home would be enough to lose those names in the vast expanse of unwilling oblivion that our brain stores…for reasons unknown…

half an hour from now, even my destination will arrive…so I treat myself with one more cup of chai…and then probably shut down this laptop and proceed to unwillingly forget few things that seemed so important for this 27 hour journey…

the best part is that…however I get down this train now…this train will go on…and so will many more travellers oblivious that someone called Abhinav travelled on this train along with them…and so am I…oblivious of so many who travelled with me…so many who got down before me…so many who got down with me….and so many who will get down hence…

one destination…one journey…yet the intervals are my favorite!